Pondering

In my beginnings post, I mentioned how when the Holy Spirit spoke to me about having another child, I treasured it in my heart, like Mary when the shepherds came to visit Jesus (Luke 2:19).

I didn't realize there is another time in scripture that it says she treasured something being revealed to her about her son. It was read today during the "children's sermon" at church. When Jesus is left behind in Jerusalem at the temple and Mary and Joseph go back to get him. When they ask why and what have you been doing? Jesus answers, "Why were you searching for me? Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's house?" It goes on to say that his parents did not understand. BUT, Mary treasured all these things in her heart. (Luke 2: 48-51)

God has reassured me today. Despite the fact Mary KNEW her child was the Son of God, there were many things she and Joseph did not understand. They were human. And God gradually revealed to them the deity of their child.

I know that Hope is out there. She is meant to be a part of our family. And gradually, God is revealing His plan for her and for us. If He gave it to me all at once, there is no way I could understand it all.

I understand more now that I did two years ago, as we faced Michael's death (two years ago today I went into the hospital to be induced after finding no heartbeat on ultrasound). I understand more than I did one year ago, when I wanted desperately to have another child, but was not pregnant. I understand more than I did last summer, when we suddenly made plans to go to Colorado and the YMCA of the Rockies - the place God promised I would not return before I had another child. But I will understand more next week, next month and next year as God continues to reveal His plan.

And as He does, I will treasure it all in my heart.