The Big Reveal

We kept the baby a secret for 15 weeks until we had confirmation in the form of multiple blood tests and ultrasounds that everything looked good.

We shouldn't have been surprised... This was God's promise, right?

Whom Shall I Fear

To say I am not afraid would be a lie. I don't know the implications of having a PET scan in early pregnancy. Of all the times...

Fear wells up in me frequently each day as I allow myself to think about all the what ifs that have not yet come to be.

It is as if God stands over me with a "fear extinguisher". Sort of like a fire extinguisher, but whenever fear starts to well up in me, He sprays me with it, and, truly, my fear disappears.

He has given me "Whom Shall I Fear", by Chris Tomlin, as a song and I am worshipping Him with all my heart as I sit here at Marshall's first of three baseball games today:

You hear me when I call
You are my morning song
Though darkness fills the night
It cannot hide the light

Whom shall I fear

You crush the enemy
Underneath my feet
You are my sword and shield
Though troubles linger still

Whom shall I fear

I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

The one who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

My strength is in Your name
For You alone can save
You will deliver me
Yours is the victory

Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear

I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

The one who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

And nothing formed against me shall stand
You hold the whole world in Your hands
I'm holding on to Your promises

You are faithful
You are faithful

And nothing formed against me shall stand
You hold the hold world in your hands
I'm hold on to your promises

You are faithful
You are faithful
You are faithful

I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

The one who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

The one who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

What I Was Thinking

All week I have been thinking about what I would write after I received my scan results. How I wasn't worried, but trusted God to give me the grace for what came today. I fully expected to receive a negative result, but knew if something was there, God would be there, BIG TIME.

After hearing the all clear from my doctor today, the last thing I expected was to look at my detailed scan report and see something "positive"...

To quote the report: "minimal physiological uptake in the endometrium".

My doctor said nothing about this, but when I saw it, I knew immediately - I'm pregnant!!

I actually did a test the morning of my scan. But I either misread it or it was a false negative, because I did another one immediately and it was positive.

Sigh.

This was no where NEAR what I thought God would have to give me grace for. But I know without a doubt that He will.

Molly

www.thedustbunnychronicles.blogspot.com

Sent from my iPhone

Week of Hope

This is the week of Hope once again during the advent season. It was this week, four years ago, that The Lord first spoke to me about the promise of Hope.

A verse I am reading this morning reminds me to be patient. The Lord is in control and it is not my place to take things into my own hands.

The Lord is good to those who put their hope in Him. He is good to those who look to Him. It is good when people wait quietly for The Lord to save them. Lamentations 3:25-26

How appropriate that the verses are in a book called Lamentations!! Just as the chosen people were lamenting their situation, there are times I wonder what in the world is taking so long!!

Thankfully, The Lord has been gracious to show me, at times, the imperfection of my timing. I want to wait for God's perfect time! But, oh how hard that can be sometimes!

I see children waiting for homes and I just want to take care of all of them!! And I know and trust that one of them is ours.

Until God reveals her to us, I hope in Him, look to Him, and wait (mostly) quietly for Him. Because it is GOOD.

Molly

Read recently on Facebook:

Do not abandon the mercy-seat for any reason whatever. If it be a good thing that you have been asking for, and you are sure it is according to the divine will, if the vision tarry wait for it, pray, weep, entreat, wrestle, agonise till you get that which you are praying for. -Charles Spurgeon

There are times I struggle and grow impatient. I want to give up. These words encourage me: God isn't giving up. There is a reason that I/we must wait.

There are days I feel exhausted from the struggle to hold on. From the literal wrestling I do in the spiritual realm with God over what I know to be true and good. To cling to the promise of God for Hope.

And in the end, it will be worth the praying, weeping, entreating, wrestling and agonizing. For I have done, and continue to do, all of those.

In the Fullness of Time

It was during this time two years ago that God first spoke to me specifically about Hope.

Two years.

There are times I am thinking about her and all I can pray is, "Where is she, God?" I see a need for her in each and all of our lives.

And yet, it isn't time yet. For her or for us. We will be together in "the fullness of time."

God has promised, and He is faithful.

Thought for the Day

I received a devotional book last week at my first treatment and left it in my "chemo bag", the bag I bring with me to treatments that has my Snuggie and neck pillow in it.

I ahve been sitting here at my second treatment thinking about Hope. Wondering what to do next.

I pulled out they book and there were the words of encouragement I needed:

You are my beloved child. I chose you before the foundation of the world, to walk with me along paths designated uniquely for you. Concentrate on keeping in step with Me, instead of trying to anticipate My plans for you. If you trust that my plans are to prosper you and not to harm you, you can relax and enjoy the present moment.

Your hope and your future are rooted in heaven, where eternal ecstasy awaits you. Nothing can rob you of your inheritance of unimaginable riches and well-being. Sometimes I grant you glimpses of your glorious future, to encourage you and spur you on. But your main focus should be staying close to Me. I set the pace in keeping with your needs and My purposes.

Ephesians 1:4; Proverbs 16:9; Jeremiah 29:11; Ephesians 1:13-14

The last sentence really sums it up for me. All in God's time.